This page has been visited times.

“Home Invasion”

“Back at School- 2004”

Production Notes:

“Back at School-2004” is the first official episode of 2004 and it takes up two main plot lines, Reggie and Trixie and Doug’s legal problems.  This was posted on the on January 6, 2003 at the Eric Von Wade Website.  The scene opens in the kitchen where Honey applies her skills to unite Reggie and Trixie.    The action then shifts to Douglas’ classroom where he spars with some of his students and takes them to a computer lab.  Douglas is then called away to Principal Douglas office where he encounters a slew of lawyers and is shown a recording of a news story that leaks his lawsuit to the public.  Lorelei Carlisle and Percy Willow provide a legal onslaught that, at its lowest point, is turned back with the introduction of attorney Thomas M. Edwards.


          In terms of Douglas’ students, Max Juarez is give a last name and we are introduced to a dense student named Steven and a confused student named Tony Ramos.  A teacher’s aide who runs the Computer lab is also introduced, Mrs. Emily Joshua.


          In terms of the legal crew, Lorelei Carlisle continues in her rare form.  Percy Willow makes an appearance to keep up his appearance as an annoyance.  The shining pillar of legal prowess in this episode is Thomas M. Edwards.  Edwards made a brief appearance in Honey’s Christmas Carroll in a flashback defending Lester Pendleton, Honey’s father, in a custody battle.


Return to “One Night in Corpus” Main Page


January 6, 2003

One Night in Corpus Christi
“Back at School- 2004”
Written by Capt J.E. Carrales, III
Click Here to visit the "One Night in Corpus Christi" Web page!

(Opening Organ Music Theme Song)

Narrator: "Good Afternoon, Ladies and Gentleman, RADIO STATION KEYS and Carrales Studios Productions proudly present “One Night in Corpus Christi”... (music swells) brought to you by Kreamy Krisp Donuts, 9 out of 10 cops and one City Councilman can’t be wrong!

(Organ music swells)

NARRATOR: “Everyday of the fall semester our hero has eagerly awaited the Christmas (though some say ‘winter’) break, but alas it seems that the Christmas break has come and gone. 2004, a year…another year of promises and disappointments, of challenges and relative ease, of having to teach the un-teachable and save the un-savable. We join up with our hero couple as they prepare for breakfast…”

(sound of cooking)

Douglas: “Well Honey, what do you think of these clothes?”

Honey: (clearing throat) “Yup, that’s just like my man, wearing all his new Christmas clothes the first day back to school.”

Douglas: “Hey, its like the song says… ‘I’ll take if from you, then I’ll go and take it!”

Honey: “Oh yes, as always, my Douglas; forever trying to keep up with the Jones.

Douglas:“ No,No… My dear, you have it all wrong…the Jones have to keep up with me!” (laughs that break into applause)

Honey: “Well, excuse me…oh great trend setter!

(Knock, Knock, Knock)

Douglas: “ That’ll be Reggie, just in time to eat us out of house and home!”

Honey: “No dear, your wrong, it’s Trixie.”

Douglas: “Well then, let her in!”

Honey: (very sweetly) “Now, remember…don’t do or say anything…if we are going to get these two together you’re going to have to be quite and trust me.”

Douglas: “O.K. Let’s set this think in motion.”

(sound of door opening)

Trixie: “Hey, you two…” (applause) “…its not like you two to take so long to open the door. Were you two…eh…indecent?”

Honey: “Oh, I’m sorry…come on in. I was just fixing some bacon.”

Trixie: (amazed) “ Bacon!? Are you feeling O.K., I’ve never seen you cook so many times in a row.”

Honey: “Well, You know how much I love Doug, and…a good wife will do anything for her man.”

Douglas: “Anything?”

Honey: (under her breath to Douglas) “Not now, dear…don’t take advantage or…believe me you’ll get it.” (laughs)

Trixie: “Take advantage of what?”

Honey: “Oh, nothing…just for him not to take advantage of my…domestic prowess.”

(knock, knock)

Reggie: “Hey gang…” (applause) “…uh…hello, Trixie.”

Trixie: “Hello, Mr….uh…Reggie.”

Reggie: “I smelled bacon and was wondering if…that is…if its O.K. with…”

Douglas: “Sure Reggie, pull up a chair and dig in!”

Honey: “I hear there’s a new Herb Alpert C-D- out.”

Trixie: “Yes, I got it on New Year’s Day…It’s great! It has everything!”

Honey: “How about you, Reggie? I know you’re a big fan, too.”

Reggie: “Yes, as a matter of fact, I have it as well.”

Trixie: “My favorite song is Tangerine. It’s so romantic!”

Reggie: “Yes, its on the track after This Guy’s in Love With You.

Trixie: “Yes, that’s a pretty song too.”

(short pause)

Honey: “Oh, that’s is such a pretty song. An the message…how does it go again Doug?”

Douglas: “I think it goes something like this…”(singing) “ You see the sky…the sky’s in love with you.

Reggie: “No…No…Doug!” It goes like this… (singing to Trixie) You see this guy…this guy’s in love with you.”

Trixie: (giggling) “That’s pretty good, Reggie.”

Honey: “Bingo!”

Trixie: “What was that, Honey?”

Douglas: “Uh, yes. We go to Bingo at the Knights of Columbus…sorry, it’s a Catholic thing!”

(music swells and fades)


NARRATOR: “Well that seemed to go well, what a conspirator Honey is. It must be all that training as a former liberal. Soon the morning passes and our heroes head off to work. Let’s join Douglas at the High School.”

(sound of school bell)

Douglas: “O.K. Good morning 4th Period! That was the bell!”

(Students continue talking)

Douglas: “I said that was the bell, people!”

(Students continue talking)

Douglas: “Shut up already!”

(students stop talking)

Douglas: “It’s a shame that you people don’t know when its time to stop and that people have to get loud with you for you to listen.”

Max Juarez: “Sir, its just that we have so much catching up to do. Don’t take it personally”

Douglas: “I just get so troubled when my favorite class completely ignores me like that. I have a job to do and I mean to do it.”

Macy Silverman: “O.K., Sir, were sorry. Now what do you want to tell us.”

Douglas: “Well, today we need to recap the World War I.”

Max Juarez: “Is that the same thing as, the First World War?”

Douglas: “Max, why would you ask me a question like that?”

Max Juarez: “Well, Sir, that’s what the book calls it.”

Douglas: “Oh, my dear, I’m sure its political correctness at work.”

Macy Silverman: “Sir, I don’t mean to bother you, but weren’t we going to the computer lab today?”

Douglas: “Why yes, the school just spend 10,000 dollars on a new program called Top Score and I think you will all like it a lot.”

Max Juarez: “Man, I hate the computer lab.”

Douglas: “Max, your mother said you love to be on the computer at home.”

Max Juarez: “Yes, but that’s different. I can talk to my number one chick on line or look up bands…”

Douglas: “See, Max! If only you would use that power for good instead of evil.”

Macy Silverman: “Let’s go down to the lab. It sure beats worksheets.”

Douglas: “O.K. Max lead the way and you Steven, you’ll be the last one so plase close the door behind you.”

NARRATOR: “SO, Douglas follows his class from his classroom down the hall to the newly furnished computer lab. The guardian of this lab was the ever-lovable Mrs. Emily Joshua.

Emily Joshua: “ Good, you remembered our little date here in the lab.” (yelling for all to hear) “Alright, students, leave your back packs by the door. We can’t have you stealing things from this new lab.”

Douglas: “O.K. don’t open up any thing until we tell you, but find a computer.”

Macy Silverman: “Sir, there are only 15 computers, yet there are 20 of us. How will we all have a unit?”

Douglas: “Its, too bad, the football team needed new jerseys this year…again. Mrs. Joshua, I’ll get them started and then I’m going to have to go room by room until I can find a free computer for everyone.”

Emily Joshua: “Alright, what choice do we have?”

Douglas: “O.k., everyone pay attention. Click on the icon that says Top Score.

Max Juarez: “Sir, I think I’m lost?”

Macy Silverman: “Max, your on the internet.”

Douglas: “Max! I told you not to click anything until I told you, click out of there.”

Max Juarez: “Sorry, Sir? I didn’t hear you say that.”

Douglas: “No, you we just not paying attention!”

Macy Silverman: “Sir, I’m clicked in what do I do next.”

Douglas: “Alright write your full name where it says…Login Name.”

Macy Silverman: “What do we put as password, Mr. Mac?”

Douglas: "Your password is your lunch number, type it where it says…Password…duh.”

Max Juarez: “Sir, I think Tony is having a problem?”

Douglas: “What is it, Tony? What seems to be the problem?”

Tony Ramos: “Uh…Mister, my computer keeps telling me that it can’t login!”

Macy Silverman: “Are you putting in your whole name?”

Tony Ramos: “Uh…that’s the problem. My full name is Antonio, but everyone calls me Tony…uh…I don’t now how to spell… Antonio.

Macy Silverman: “Yeah, I know what you mean. But…no offense… you’re so old, Sir.”

Douglas: (surprised) “What!? You don’t know how to spell your own first name!”

Tony Ramos: “Well, Mister, no one has ever called me like that. What do I do?”

Douglas: “You have until tomorrow to learn you first name, Mr. Ramos. Consider it a spelling test!”

Macy Silverman: “Gosh, someone in the 11th grade doesn’t know how to spell their own name. That’s scary!”

Douglas: “No, that’s criminal. I ought to have you arrested for wasting taxpayer dollars.” (laughs)

Max Juarez: “Mr. Mac! This sucks!”

Douglas: “What is it now, Max?

Max Juarez: “Why do we have to use these stupid computers?”

Douglas: “That’s simple, the smart people are using the smart computers.” (laughs)

(knock, Knock)

Macy Silverman: “Mr. Mac, Mrs. Mallow is at the door.”

Douglas: “Hey, Marcia, what’s up?”

Marcia Mallow: “Uh, Mr. McKillyou…you need to report to the front office. Principal Dumples is having a cow.”

Douglas: “What about my class?”

Marcia Mallow: “Mrs. Joshua will watch your class. You had better hurry.”

Douglas: “Alright class, I’ll be back. Just start working on Lesson 15…The First World War.”

Macy Silverman: “O.K., Mr. Mac, hurry back.”

Max Juarez: “kiss up!”

Macy Silverman: “Shut up, Max. I’d rather be a kiss up than a low life idiot.” (laughs and applause)

Douglas: (to himself) "I wonder what this is all about? It’s probably that ridiculous fanatical Principal Dumples…why does he always have it out for me?”

NARRATOR: “And into the valley of the shadow of Principal Dumples office our hero goes…but what surprises await him there?”

Principal Dumples: “Ah…Mr. McKillyou, nice of you to join us. I believe you know my guests…”

Douglas: (surprised) “Lorelei Carlisle and Councilman Percy Willow?”

Percy Willow: “It’s Councilperson...”

Douglas: “Whatever?”

(music swells)


NARRATOR: “What a gathering! Douglas, Principal Dumples, Lorelei Carlisle and Percy Willow, in many ways three against one! David vs. a three headed Goliath, if you subscribe to that religion. This looks rather sinister…”

Douglas: "What is this? Ms. Carlisle what are you doing here?”

Principal Dumples: “Maybe this news story I recorded earlier will clear things up for you.”

(sound of Television turning on and VCR sounds)

Joe Watchmen (on television): “…And in other news, it seems a CCISD teacher is under the spotlight of the law. We go to Lucy Graves who made this report…”

Lucy Graves (on television): “Thank you, Joe. It’s a sad day in the old school house as an alleged teacher is facing a wrongful death charge. Sources close to the case say that on Douglas McKillyou is being sued for the wrongful death of Mr. Rupert ‘Lefty’ Masters. Mr. Masters may have been killed by Mr. McKillyou two weeks ago, but details are sketchy.”

Joe Watchmen (on television): “Lucy, what is to become of this Mr. McKillyou?”

Lucy Graves (on television): “Well, Joe. It looks like a local attorney, Lorelei Carlisle, has filed some sort of court order against Douglas McKillyou. We may have to keep this dangerous killer away from the youth of our city! For KYYY TV, I’m Lucy Graves.”

Percy Willow: “There, Mr. McKillyou, what do you have to say?”

Douglas: “I’m not telling you anything. This is an outrage. I didn’t kill anyone.”
Principal Dumples: “Now, now…Mr. McKillyou, you are only allegedly innocent. I saw this day coming, Doug. You are finally going to get you comeuppance.”

Lorelei Carlisle: “Simply put, Mr. McKillyou, I am here to administer this injunction against you. It prevents you from teaching until Mr. Traviato’s case is settled.”

Percy Willow: “Yes, we can’t take the chance that you are a dangerous criminal. After all, you may be responsible for the wrongful death of Mr. “Lefty” Masters. What are you looking for, Mr. McKillyou?”

Douglas: “I’m sorry, I didn’t see the caboose pass. It isn’t every day that I’m being railroaded!”

(loud sounds of storming into the room)

Marcia Mallow: “I’m sorry, Sir. You can’t just storm into this office! Sir, are you listening to me!”

Thomas M. Edwards: “Stand aside, I’m Thomas M. Edwards and I’m here to protect the right of my client.”

Douglas: "Oh, thank God! Mr. Edwards, I was about to faint!”

Thomas M. Edwards: “Don’t worry, Mr. McKillyou, Councilman Parkinson explained the whole thing to me. Then I saw this blatant attempt at judicial malfeasance on the news at lunch. Douglas, don’t tell these people anything!”

Douglas: "You got it.”

Lorelei Carlisle: (snobbishly) “Mr. Edwards, Judge Ray L. Rhoder signed this injunction this morning restricting this…this…individual from teaching at this school!”

Thomas M. Edwards: “Well, Ms Carlisle, although Sodomy is no longer illegal in Texas, I will not stand idly and allow this fellow to be screwed by you or anyone!” (applause and cheers) “Anyhow, I got Judge Rhoder to sign this document that instructs the school to provide Mr. McKillyou with paid leave until this is resolved.”

Lorelei Carlisle: (snobbishly) “Well…Mr. Edwards, I’ll see you in court on Monday! Well, see just who’s too big for their britches! Mr. McKillyou, I look forward to adding you to the notches in my belt.”

Douglas: “I plead the fifth, Ms Carlisle!”

Percy Willow: “This is still a victory for our side!”

Douglas: "Listen here, Willow, if this thing turns out in my favor. I just may sue you.”

Thomas M. Edwards: “I’ve already drawn up the proper documents to counter sue the legal team of Carlisle and Willow.” (sound of cell phone dialing). “Yes…Mr. Hargrove? Yes…Wes, file those affidavits I prepared. Mr. McKillyou gave me the green light.”

Douglas: "Mr. Edwards, you have restored my faith in the legal system.”

Reggie Parkinson: (running in and panting) “Sorry, I’m late. Douglas, Tom here has everything under control.”

Percy Willow: (annoyed almost hissing) “ Parkinson!”

Reggie Parkinson: (equally annoyed) “Willow! I suspect something like this form you!”

Percy Willow: (annoyed and arrogant) “ Parkinson, this is just one stage in my war. Once this…ug…teacher…falls, I can begin to unravel the so-called morality of this city!”

Principal Dumples: “Hey! I don’t care who you thing you are…Councilperson Willow…but I am the only one allowed to scheme in this office! I’m asking all of you to leave now!”

Douglas: "You couldn’t have asked at a better time!”

Principal Dumples: “Not you, McKillyou. I still have to talk with you!”

Douglas: "How did I know that?”

(sound of everyone shuffling out)

Thomas M. Edwards: “Douglas, don’t worry. I’ve got your back. I’ve set you up an appointment Thursday at 4:00! See you then! ”

(sound of door closing)

Principal Dumples: “Don’t think that I have forgotten you’re insubordination! I was hoping to have this settled before we released for Winter break.”

Douglas: "You mean the Christmas/Chanukah break?”

Principal Dumples: “Does your insubordination know no boundaries? You have an appointment with Superintendent Rodriguez at 3:00 on Thursday. Now that you have an extended vacation, I’m glad that you are nearly…DESTROYED! We can try to make you a vacation that’s a little more…permanent!”

Douglas: “Some one will stop you, a bad song like you has to come to and end sometime.”

Principal Dumples: “You can’t win this time! I have you and soon you will be gone. Now, get lost!”

(door close)

Marcia Mallow: “Well, Mr. McKillyou, where are you off to know?”

Douglas: “Mrs. Mallow, did you ever see the Love Boat.”
Marcia Mallow: “Yes?”

Douglas: “Did you see the one where the ship hit the Ice Berg and the guy died.”

Marcia Mallow: “That wasn’t The Love Boat that was Titanic!”

Douglas: “Well, That’s were I think I’m going.”

(ominous music)

NARRATOR: "Thank you and good night folks. Be sure to tune in next week to, "One Night in Corpus." Remember to visit your friends at E. L. Derrly’s Nursing Home, and remember…their not dying, their resting!

(Music ends)